Self Care

Alone On Your Birthday? Read This

Today’s my birthday. My mom reminded me today: “Sweetheart, you’re going to be alone on your birthday this year”.

I’m entering into my late 20s. Translation: I’m still young enough where I can blame my reckless mistakes on my youth, but old enough to know (and do) better.

My friends like to party on their birthdays. Their special day usually consists of lavish restaurants and back-end bars. They hate to be alone.

But I feel differently about my birthday. Instead of getting excited, I become introspective. A bit more recluse than usual. Every year, for as long as I could remember, I wanted to reflect instead of hit the club. They would ask, “You want to be alone on your birthday? For real?”

This time is no different. I’ve been through a lot of changes the past few years, and it has me questioning what’s in store for me next year. Part of me is worried – if my life has changed so dramatically in the past year, how much more change is coming my way? Will I even recognize my life anymore?

The idea of change always intimidated me. I’m the type of person who finds their comfort zone and puts their roots there. Any shift into the unknown used to scare me. The familiar is safe and easy.

But a smaller part of me, the part I am actively choosing to listen to, is curious. I wonder inquisitively what’s next to come. Perhaps I will be in a new city, or in a new job. Maybe I’ll be married or pregnant. Maybe I’ll be writing full time.

What I know is this: I passed another year of triumphs, trials, tribulations and tests . And I am still standing.

I have had a lot of obstacles this year, most of them very personal. I am still trying to overcome some of them. But it’s okay, because I’m still standing.

So, on this reflective note, rather than go out and celebrate with others, I am going to celebrate with myself. I am going to ask myself the following questions:

  • What did I spend most of time doing? Where is most of my focus? This question will highlight the things I want out of life.
  • What made me happy, and what didn’t? Is there anything I need to let go of to achieve happiness?
  • What are some of the major milestones? Have I congratulated myself? How did I celebrate my wins?
  • Any low points to note? How did I overcome them?
  • How am I showing up for myself? Can I do more to treat myself better?
  • What do I want for myself, at this moment, next year? Or by the time I am 30?

It feels incredible to know that I’ve made it this far and came out a better person. Rather than letting the hard times break or harden me, I’ve shaped into a better version of myself.

I’m more compassionate and kind. Softer but more grounded. My urge to help others has increased tenfold. I am finally comfortable with myself. I’ve shed my old insecurities from my early days like skin. I feel empowered. I am empowered.

Now, when I’m asked the question, “You’re planning on being alone on your birthday?”, I say: “Hell yes.”

How do you like to celebrate your birthday?

27 thoughts on “Alone On Your Birthday? Read This”

  1. I am SO GLAD I found your blog and this post! I can relate to this so much, as it was my birthday yesterday, and I always find I feel more depressed than usual on my birthday and wanted to be on my own and I could never figure out why xo

  2. I think it’s nice you know what you want for your birthday, even if that is to be alone. Happiness comes from within and you should do whatever it is that makes you happy, especially so on your birthday. I hope you had a really lovely day. Many happy returns.

  3. This was such an intriguing post to me! My birthday is also coming up and I have always loved spending it with others (I share a birthday with my twin sister, mom, and best friend). I also enjoy being alone and what better day to reflect on yourself and your life than on your birthday?!

  4. Great read and the confidence you have soo early on in life to be able to be alone and find the joy in that is goals if you can’t be with yourself then why would anyone else ????????‍♀️

  5. I always find that my birthday is a time for reflection. Even more so than t Dec 31st/ Jan 1st my birthday in August is what signifies a New Year for me, a new chapter of this story called life. I am happy to do things on my birthday but like to have at least a few hours to myself.

  6. I think B-days are very useful because they remind us the important of celebrating our years and life, no matter where we are and who with. So, spend your most important day of the year, with the only person that you are sure will be with you forever.

  7. For a fact, I think we sail in the same boat since I’m also not the type who’ll go out and party like crazy.I prefer having my time reflecting on the pas year and hoping for the best for the coming time. Although birthday wishes would not hurt…

  8. I am so grateful that I found this post. I felt a really sense of calmness reading through it. It’s great to take stock of how far one has come in a year, and to celebrate all the wins.

  9. I tried to live in another country for two years. I was away from my family but I haven’t tried being alone on my birthday. I can always find a friend to celebrate it with me. Btw, I threw a big party last month for my 25th birthday. I sent invites to all my family and friends. It was a great day!
    Anyway, I might try celebrating my birthday alone few years from now. Maybe when I travel.

  10. I always spend my birthday with my little boy and my dad. Because it usually falls on Father’s Day we usually drive to my hometown and spend a few weeks with my dad so we can be with him to celebrate Father’s Day too 🙂

  11. As we age birthdays change with us. Much like you did, we may reflect on our lives and map out plans for our futures. What do we wish to accomplish? Are we happy with what we have? This reflection was beautiful.

  12. Self assessment is so important to do. Often we forget to do this and we keep repeating the same mistakes of the past. I think it’s great that you do this, even if it is on your birthday.

  13. I can relate to this! I tend to be reflective during my birthday. Am I where I want to be? What do I want for the next year of my life? Etc. I don’t get down about life, but more so just reflective and grateful.

  14. I love this post. Happy Birthday to you by the way. I’ve spent many times on my own on my birthday. Sometimes my family even forgets lol! Doesn’t make me feel nice but it does give me time to think a little more as well. Time to reflect on the year that’s just past. Sometimes it’s nice. It’s like a bittersweet end to the year but an exciting one to imagine the next that’s to come!

  15. Being alone is not something that I would ever wish on my Birthday but definitely I am the kind to have it lowkey with the familia. Either a good dinner at home or maybe some cozy quiet place.

  16. I often do not give any attention to my birthday. I think that I am mature now and spending my birthday with my family is no longer a thing that I enjoy.

  17. Sometimes it is best to have a bit of me time to reflect on the past year and to re-evaluate on the future. Nothing wrong with a little down time even if it is on your birthday.

  18. I really love that you shared this post. I have spent countless birthday alone, and other birthdays with family and friends. I was going to spend my most recent alone, but friends took me to lunch and I ended up enjoying it.

  19. Very mature, introspection I think is a great thing. I really liked the questions you ask yourself too. I’m going to take some of these for myself….

  20. There have been multiple birthdays when I had to celebrate it alone but it made me feel very self sufficient. Love what you said here: “Rather than letting the hard times break or harden me, I’ve shaped into a better version of myself.”

  21. This is a great post because in all honesty the older I get the less desire I have for a lot of noise and fanfare. A few treasured friends or time to reflect and enjoy the gift of solitude and self-awareness.

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